Bbye 2013, Hello 2014

1 Jan

I am a little late to be doing this post, but who cares, 1st is as good as 31st 😛

2013:

I don’t know why or exactly since when, but I had been waiting to get done with 2013 for a while. It ended yesterday, and on a wonderful note. It would be untruthful if I said, I am unhappy about 2013 getting over. But the last leg of 2013 has been simply wonderful, and I am extremely happy about it, almost that much that I am ready to forgive 2013 for all the harshness, and say good things about it.

The Bad:

  • I saw 2 marriages break – within the family, within very short intervals of the people in question being married. I also heard similar news from friends, and I cannot help but wonder what went wrong. Incompatibility? Forced decisions? Parental/societal pressure? Immaturity? Commitment issues? It has made me question my belief in the institution of happy marriages, even if I chose my own. And I have made statements like “tell me now if you are not happy with me” and “feel free to walk out of the relationship” in the very emotional fights that we have had. With a calmer mind I have felt like the statements were out of context. But yes, somewhere I have sensed fear that commitments and relationships can be broken as easily as you would break the lead of a pencil.
  • We have made too many physically and emotionally draining trips – all of them absolutely necessary and also absolutely futile if you look back at them. Sigh!
  • We didn’t get to make our yearly, big vacation or any other proper vacations. Every holiday got used trying to fix things, or was weighed down with other kinds of emotional baggage.
  • I have lost a lot of hair, sleep and mental peace in all the stress.
  • I got very limited time to do things that I love doing – dancing, writing and socializing with friends.
  • I got a stiff shoulder for a while. Though it’s a thing of the past now, I was s**t scared at that time for there was no reason for it to happen. It came out of the blue and there was no saying how or when it would be alright. I thought I would never be able to dance freely again, or swim, or drive. The fear saw to it that I did my physiotherapy with utmost dedication – a full 100 sets of 5 exercises, every single day for a month. Am I glad I am young!

 

The good:

  • My mom got a transfer back to Hyderabad after 3 years of staying away from the family, and she came back home yesterday. There is nothing that I have ever prayed more desperately for. And I just cannot thank God and everybody else who is responsible for it. I cannot think of a better way to usher in the New Year.
  • I caught a cold only 2 times in 2013, which I think is a record in itself. I am hoping for this – not catching a cold with the slightest weather change – to continue for forever now.
  • I finally quit my job of almost 4 years and took the decision to channelize all my efforts towards pursuing my passion towards creative writing. Big impulsive decision. But, I have done it. Now all that’s needed is an admission somewhere!
  • My significant other, quit his job at possibly one of the best companies one could be working in IT, to start his own company. I am so proud.
  • Some good came out of all the stress that we went through – our understanding is deeper. We have passed the test of standing strong and consulting each other for a different point of view. I think we aced it.
  • We had a family reunion with my maternal aunt’s just around the end of the year. The smile that was on my mom’s face for those days is something that had gone missing for a while now, as the distance from the family and the frustration was taking its toll. They put it right back in place. Family works like magic, I tell you.
  • My sister did something that I don’t think I have it in me to do. Again, very proud. Also very happy, because I think she is going to find her calling somewhere along the way.
  • My father’s health has steadily improved from his almost critical condition in 2012. I am glad for the discipline that the family has enforced for it to have happened.

 

Okay. That’s it. I am done with my retrospection of 2013.

Now for 2014, I am looking forward to all of this, this year:

 

  • Admission to at least one of the universities I am applying to. I can’t wait to get started with my Masters. I hope to finally do what I want to.
  • A fitter and healthier us. No arguments.
  • Holidays. Real vacations.
  • There is a tiny project that I want to get started on. It’s a secret right now. But let’s hope that I get started with it soon enough so that I can tell you all about it.
  • I want to learn how to manage my finances independently. I get irritated with myself for needing help and advice all the time, and being eternally confused about what is required.
  • Write more. And dance more. There is nothing like too much.
  • Make my own earning again. Even if it is pocket money as compared to the salary I was drawing (not that I thought much of my salary). Leaving the job felt like I had lost my identity. I went to being a nobody from being a somebody. I would like to find a new identity now.
  • More of ‘me’ time. And then some ‘we’ time. And lots of time for & with friends after that.
  • No more candy crush. What the point anyway?
  • If I am cheery I am just fine the way I am – its ‘sexy and I know it’ and if I am irritated and I need to dress up, I feel fat or ugly – plain lousy. It’s a very mental thing. And I would like to change this about myself this year. I want to be like the other girls who are always well dressed wherever they are, and feel confident about themselves all the time. Ok, I just said that out loud. So, the idea is to pay a tad bit more attention to self, be appreciative about it and try and pick something apart from the comfort faded jeans and tee. I have that much figured out – that the girls are not always dressed in their best, it is about the attitude, to feel right in your own skin that works wonders. It’s a small thing. I can achieve it. *fingers crossed*

 

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5 Responses to “Bbye 2013, Hello 2014”

  1. latsthoughts January 7, 2014 at 9:43 PM #

    If you notice, the Good list is longer than the Bad list…. and from my point of view, that’s a very good thing

    There are quite a few things up there that I would like to know, but I also know that you will tell me at the right time… so I’ll keep the patience 🙂

    As for your 2014 list, EVERYTHING on it is achievable and I know that you will do it….But no more Candy Crush? Come on…. it’s such a pointless game that makes us waste time…It’s like Facebook….only better 😛

    • Shivani January 8, 2014 at 11:25 AM #

      Yes, the good list is longer than the bad list… but I realized that only after I listed it down. Otherwise, I was going around feeling bogged down for a very long time. In hindsight, I should have written things down as and when they were happening… it would have helped me record the good stuff and vent out the negativity.

      Lets talk about whatever you want to know… will call you soon. 🙂

      Yes, I know everything is achievable… that’s the point isn’t it? to make achievable goals 🙂

    • Shivani January 8, 2014 at 11:27 AM #

      Its an addictive game, and I have it on my ipod and kindle as well… so its 2 times more the time waste than it would be if I were playing only on my laptop… isiliye tyaag diya

  2. Anonymous January 7, 2014 at 11:43 PM #

    Good luck for 2014. 😀

    • Shivani January 8, 2014 at 11:27 AM #

      thank you 🙂 much needed 🙂

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