Coffee : Expresso Yourself

25 Sep

Do you know why I love coffee places so much?

Not because they are cool places to hang-out. It is because they have so much more to offer, than just coffee. There is something very magical about them. They let my thoughts flow, and in a million directions.

For one, the coffee is mostly amazing at an exclusively-coffee place. The ambience, the aroma of coffee and maybe even the caffeine kicks off so much – thoughts, conversations, mischief. The setup of the coffee tables and couches, make it so easy for you to relax and blend in. At some places, they even let you sit with your feet up. There is really no restriction on the time you want to keep a table occupied, as long as you order at least one cup of coffee. I don’t think that’s a high price to pay. Should be worth your time.

All these little things, they facilitate conversation and observation.

Some of the best conversations I have had with people have been at such coffee places. Deep and insightful, giving me food for thought and stuff to write.

Maybe it is about the time you take out especially for each other, just to have a conversation that makes it so special. What it signifies is respect. Somebody is specifically taking time out to hear what you have got to say. A dinner place is not the same. A dinner date is focussed more on the food than on the conversation. You would want to enjoy the food, pay the bill and leave. It is something that satisfies your palate but not your appetite for quality time and conversation.  A coffee date is entirely different. These are places that I have been to and still go, to let off steam with my then boyfriend and now husband. It has many a times helped relieve tension between the two of us and have rational conversations instead of arguments.

I have this funny quirk. I can cry and laugh at the same time. I have got hyperactive tear glands, and they turn themselves on the moment my emotions are free and flowing. There have been times when I am talking and rationalizing and the tap just starts flowing. It is very embarrassing sometimes. Not only for me, but even for the company I have got. At a restaurant, my husband probably would be very conscious if I were to let my tears flow. He is very scared of being kicked out for what people would interpret as a very un-gentlemanly behaviour to make a lady cry. At a coffee place, he is comparatively more in “be-yourself mode”, where he lets my quirk be, because nobody is really paying any attention to you. And if they are, they are not likely to intrude or draw conclusions.

On days when we have just been to a coffee place for fun, it is nice to sit and observe the people and the conversations that are happening around you. You can’t hear the talk at the next table; but you can see it. You can see the expressions. You can see the body language. There is so much that you can gauge from that.  You may even catch a phrase or two.

This is from the time when we were still in the newly married stage – 6 months at best. We had already started seeing the differences in our lifestyles and the initial complaints and the fuss that comes with living together, had already been exchanged.

There was a couple at the next table. I don’t think they had been married for very long either. They seemed to be having the exact same conversation that we had just had a few weeks ago. “You don’t make the bed.” “You don’t listen when I am talking. Please turn off the TV when I am talking to you and understand the instructions in one go.” “Honey relax. The house doesn’t have to look perfect all the time. I am used to living in a place that could look like a pig sty on some days. I don’t like it clean all the time”

Sitting on the next table, watching that confrontation, and miming the dialogues was downright hilarious. The husband and I were laughing at it till we had tears in our eyes.

There is another such anecdote that I can remember.

The story as I call it. There was a guy and a girl who were meeting for the first time to have a face to face conversation. We had been at the coffee-shop long enough to know that the girl had actually come there with her mom. The girl’s phone rang. She went out to meet the guy and introduce herself as the person he was supposed to be meeting. They occupied a different table; not the one where the mother was seated. In fact, the girl did not even introduce him to her mother. They had a fairly long conversation, after which I think the girl thought that the guy was potential marriage material and then she made the introductions between him and her mom.

I couldn’t hear one bit of their conversation. Neither between the mom and daughter, nor between the girl and the guy. But I was able to gauge their expressions. I could see that the girl was nervous and a little fidgety when she was with her mother. She had, in all likelihood told her mother that she wanted to have a face to face conversation with the boy before the families spoke on their behalf. Definitely an arranged marriage scene, but the girl had her say. That means that the girl was independent or at least capable of making decisions for herself without being coerced into them. Her family was probably protective. That is why the mother was accompanying her.

The girl’s body language changed when she was with the boy. She was still a little nervous, but more assertive about herself. There were questions to which the answers were given thoughtfully. I could see them pondering and weighing their words before they spoke. Such guarded conversation. And such an important decision to make.

It was like a silent movie for which I was writing the script.

What I loved about the entire chapter was that there was an easy and a not-so-uncomfortable way to choose your partner, in the presence of your parents, even in an arranged marriage situation.

See, that’s what happens over coffee. You find out-of-ordinary stories in ordinary situations, because no situation is really entirely ordinary is it?


6 Responses to “Coffee : Expresso Yourself”

  1. Sajit S Nair September 26, 2013 at 7:18 PM #

    Good one.. Way to go..!!

    • Shivani September 26, 2013 at 10:20 PM #

      Thanks for the encouragement buddy 🙂

  2. Latika Gupta September 26, 2013 at 11:17 PM #

    A lot can happen over coffee eh?

    • Shivani September 27, 2013 at 11:16 AM #

      Doesn’t it? 🙂

  3. Anonymous September 29, 2013 at 10:06 AM #

    a nice observatory !

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Reema's Garden

Gardening Simplified!!

Chick Lit Hall of Fame

Single women narratives. Diversity. Feminism

The Blog of Author Tim Ferriss

Tim Ferriss's 4-Hour Workweek and Lifestyle Design Blog

A World Full of Scribbles

live to travel, travel to live, love the unknown

Morning Story and Dilbert

Inspiring, Encouraging, Healthy / Why waste the best stories of the World, pour a cup of your favorite beverage and let your worries drift away…

Cooking Without Limits

Food Photography & Recipes


Where Creativity and Imagination Creates Wonderful Ideas for Your Home!


Politics, things that make you think, and recreational breaks

the 3 R's blog

30 Projects x 30 Weeks x 3 Principles

The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

My life and everything that touches it....

Amit Sharma

Welcome to the website

%d bloggers like this: