Touching base with the past

24 Apr

You will rarely find friends who equal up to your school friends. Its beautiful how easily you can slip into conversations of any kind with them without having to think twice. They know you in and out and you can be at ease being yourself around them. You didnt comb your hair today, or your eye makeup is running all over your face, or you have just come up with a couple of extra pimples doesnt really bother them. To them, you are how they know you. Comments, compliments, leg pulling and being down right honest and blunt is generally the order. They have seen you from the time when you were, err.. what should I say.. raw, perhaps?

I miss those days when we were all a mass of blue and white uniforms with red belts, and yes red ribbons too in the case of girls. I dont miss the ribbons though. Tacky those were. The endless chats that we would have by the wall surrounding the ground, a favourite hangout. The link ups. The teasing. The teachers. Even the lab assistants. The hours that we would take to bid each other a good bye everyday. And the phone calls that followed once we were home. Classes through which we would yawn. Classes that we really enjoyed. What a naughty batch we were, each one of us driving our teachers mad in our own way. Joint studies. Notes borrowed. Oh heck! homework copied 🙂 I could go on, but you know, I hadnt started this blog with this on my mind.

A reunion with my school friends really helped me wash out the nauseatic feeling that i had been developing of late, of not really having real friends at work. Its not like its a sob story at work. I love my team, and we are friends in the general way. But they arent the kind of friends I can share everything with. Neither would they not be judgemental. So you know, I have got to be careful about what I am saying and to whom. And I have got to mind my tone and my impatience, and I dont like pretence of that kind…

I have already said we were a naughty batch. An almost good for nothing batch if I may exagerate it. Back in school we werent even sure of what we wanted to do with life. And we were very sure that neither was our next neighbour. Its been 5 years since then and we are all somewhere, somewhere significant, each one of us proud with our progress. Along with the friendship, the respect for each other has grown too. There is a genuine feeling of pride and happiness.

Mr. Watt will be a Doctrate in 2 months. I cant really imagine calling him Dr. Watt!!

The kiddo has grown up too, though we wouldnt admit it on his face. He has a job. He has plans for the future. And more importantly the potential to make them happen.

Big-Bro has finally been caught by the big fish and is going to earn twice as much as I do. I intend to spend it well 😉

Silent-Killer is still going through the ups and downs that a new job gets along. But the day she tires of it, she will throw caution to the winds and forge ahead. Unstoppable she is, once on the roll.

Mr. Photographer is yet to become a professional photographer. In fact we didnt even know of this hidden talent all these years. At the moment we are more serious about him being one than he is. He is going to go for his MS soon, an engineering-management course. sounds geeky, bt not half as cool as his photography, because thats where he truly belongs. Lets see..

And the others who were not at the reunion are also all doing extremely good. Many of them doing what they have always wanted to.

I am the only one who is still groping about in darkness without direction, not knowing how to go about what I want to do, not moving a millimeter ahead.. not ready to settle for anything else apart from that, and yet not knowing what is it that I am really stuggling for. I just know that what I am doing today is not it.


9 Responses to “Touching base with the past”

  1. Abhishek - - Jai April 24, 2011 at 6:46 AM #

    BRILLIANT STUFF 🙂 🙂 🙂 The phone calls after school – haha. It was absolutely insane how we couldnt get enough of talking to each other, despite having spent 6-7 hours together in the schooland the stuff we talked about was even more.Just thinking about some of them makes me laugh

  2. bharat. April 24, 2011 at 11:48 AM #

    Groping about in darkness without direction.. !!!Come on…I have read almost all of ur blogs .. They provoke to think.. and Miss Ballerina.. not moving a millimeter doesnt matter .. what matters is.. Without u Movin an INCH.. U dragin us to the dance floor.. 🙂

  3. digitalroots April 24, 2011 at 8:33 PM #

    some memories u have brought back gal..n dont ya aorry..sooner or later ull find dat one thng u wanna do…gud luck..n yes skool friends remain d truest of friends..

  4. Shivu April 25, 2011 at 9:45 AM #

    @Abhi – No wonder we were termed as BSNL's best customers :D@Bharat – Wish I knew what to do with what i have :)@digitalroots – I really hope I do find it when i have the time to do something about it… 🙂

  5. bharat. April 25, 2011 at 10:06 AM #

    U said u like dancing… and u write well too… then watz missing.. just go on.. make ur passion a profession.. simple.. 🙂

  6. Shivu April 25, 2011 at 4:45 PM #

    I wish I was good enough! :/

  7. Menuns April 26, 2011 at 10:25 PM #

    u being confused.i m the baap of confusion. plus with mr murphy hanging above my head nd barre's head

  8. Shivu April 27, 2011 at 10:10 AM #

    Stop having so much faith in Mr. Murphy and things will get better!! 😀

  9. Anonymous May 21, 2011 at 10:34 AM #

    hey shivani… good stuff. but dont thinl about yourself that way silly girl.. you know, i think the way you do too.. i sometimes feel i aint movin in any direction. joe

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