Auto-cracy ( Aristrocracy of auto-wallahs)

9 Nov

Time and again people keep cribbing about how the auto-wallahs cheat them and how they swindle them.

Every single time we are ready to get cheated because we have to reach somewhere in time, or there are no other travel options. Whatever the case be, the auto-wallahs generally get the better of us. Once in a while I find the occasion and the time to set these auto-wallahs right. A little bit of crankiness is all it requires.

This Diwali, trying to get an auto back home from a friend’s place.

Auto-wallah 1 : Kahan jaana hai madam?
Me: XYZ
Auto-wallah 1: Rs. 120
Me: Theek hai bhaiya. Bas raste mein jo police station aata hai, vahan se hote hue chaliyega.
Auto-wallah 1: Police station? Kaunsa wala madam? (he still hadn’t got the point yet)
Me: Jo aapko pasand ho. Aapki hi report likhvane jaana hai.
Auto-wallah 1: @#@$$$%$. Kya samajhte ho apne aap ko. Raste mein khade ho kar auto-wale ko darate ho.
Me: Aap kya samajhte ho apne aap ko. Diwali k din logon ko thug-te ho.

Auto-wallah 2: Kidhar jaana hai?
Me: XYZ
Auto-wallah 2: Rs.150
Me: Kitna? 150? Aage jao bhaiya.
Auto-wallah 2: Kitna denge madam aap?
Me: Rs.40. Utna hi hota hai meter se.
Auto-wallah 2: Par madam aaj Diwali hai.
Me: To kya hua? Kaunsa aap havai-jahaz mein bitha kar le jaa rahein hain?
Auto-wallah 2: Arey madam, jo hai ussi mein bitha kar le jaunga na. Kitne log hain? (there were 5 of us there)
R (my friend) : Kyun bhaiya? 1 ho ya 4 ho, kya farak padta hai? Sabki alag alag Diwali lenge kya aap?
S (another friend) : Bhaiya phir to Diwali offer bhi lagao. Sabko kam-se-kam 15% discount bhi dena.

Everybody inclusive of the auto-wallah burst out laughing.
He settled down on an additional baksheesh of Rs.10 to the meter.

There are a few auto-wallahs who would answer back in the same cranky rhythm that you set.

Auto-wallah 3: Itna hoga madam
Me: kyun bhaiya? Aaj aapka janamdin hai?
Auto-wallah 3: Janam-din samajh k hi de diji-ega

This was one time I was stumped. Could not think of a proper reply to throw back at his gloating face!

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3 Responses to “Auto-cracy ( Aristrocracy of auto-wallahs)”

  1. And yo! it's shari November 9, 2010 at 11:11 PM #

    hahahaha that was a good one.short yet sensible.i liked that

  2. Shivu November 10, 2010 at 11:07 PM #

    thank you 🙂

  3. Menuns January 4, 2011 at 6:53 PM #

    this is wat i did once in chennai. aap sahi mein didi ho meri :pfrom station to my collegeme: anna..vitauto wallah:60me: bas itna. 100 le lothe expression on his face was awesome.

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